Cerita Lawak: Lawak sengal utk hilang stress (ke..tambah stress?)


Stress Reliever .. 1 Wife : You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why ?
Hubby : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater
than this one?”

Stress Reliever .. 2

Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It’s very kind of you, darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.

Stress Reliever .. 3

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.

Stress Reliever .. 4 Wife to husband: ” What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?”
Husband to wife: ” Golfing with friends, my dear.”
Wife to husband: ” What ? At 2 am ? ”
Husband to wife: ” Yes, We used night clubs.”

Stress Reliever .. 5

A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly, “I’d have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A
FORTUNE”

Stress Reliever .. 6

Father to son after exam: ” Let me see your report card.”
Son: “My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents.”

Stress Reliever .. 7

” How was your blind date ? ” a college student asked her roommate.
” Terrible ! ” the roommate answered. ” He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”
Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What ‘s so bad about that ? ”
“He was the original owner.”

Stress Reliever .. 8

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word “beans”..
“My father grows beans,” said one student.
“My father cooks beans,” said another.
Then little Johnny spoke up: “We are all human beans.”

Stress Reliever .. 9

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? ”
Millionaire: ” I owe everything to my wife.”
Interviewer: ” Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her ? ”
Millionaire: “A Billionaire”

Stress Reliever .. 10

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.
The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

Stress Reliever .. 11

A husband was asked: “Do you talk to your wife after sex?”
He replied: “Depends, if I can find a phone.”

Stress Reliever .. 12

Man to wife on wedding night: “Are you sure I’m the first man you are sleeping with ? ”
Wife replied: ” Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others ! “

Stress Reliever .. 13

“Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?”
Answer: “Because people started licking the wrong side.”

Stress Reliever .. 14

A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me – my pretty face or my sexy body?” He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour.”

 

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