Baby Gender Selection – How To Get The Child Of Your Dreams!

by: Julie Gardner

Wouldn’t it be great if gender selection was a ‘little button’ somewhere on your body, that you could press to choose the sex of your baby!

Press once for a boy, twice for girl.

If only life where that simple.

People from all corners of the world are desperate for a baby of a certain sex, and for numerous different reasons. A boy to carry on the family name, a girl to be Daddy’s little angel. Baby sex selection would be a dream come true for a lot of people

I have a few friends who have 3 or 4 children all of the same sex. When asked if they are having any more, the answer is always “If someone could guarantee me a boy, I would. I just so want to give my husband a little boy to play football with” or “If there was a way I could definitely get a little girl, I would be all for it, but with 3 boys… I just wouldn’t take the risk of another!”

I am one of lucky ones, I have a boy and a girl, one of each, most people tell me how blessed I am. And I do feel blessed, not to mention guilty sometimes when I see my friend walking in the street with her 3 little girls.

Years ago people just popped babies out and didn’t really mind if they were boys or girls. IF they really wanted one or the other, they would just keep having babies until they got what they wanted.

These days things are very different. The average family with it’s 2.4 children, just can’t afford to keep adding more kids to the itinerary until they get exactly what they want.

So in today’s society there must be things that you can do, after all it’s a world of freedom and choice.

Well there are things that you can do, but they don’t come cheap! It all depends on what lengths you are willing to go to, to add that much wanted child of a certain gender to your family.

Gender Selection – The Expensive Method!

Now if you have a couple of thousand pounds lying handy (which I’m sure not many of us have these days!) There’s a procedure called ‘Microsort’ This gender selection method sorts out the sperm, male and female. Now that sounds fairly easy, the next bit is the hard bit.

You will then have to undergo IVF (inVitro fertilization) or IUI (intrauterine insemination) With IVF your eggs will be harvested and mixed with either male or female sperm. If the sperm goes on to fertilize the egg, you will then have the sex selection embryo implanted into your uterus.

With IUI the sperm will be deposited into your uterus by artificial ways. This is a lot less invasive for the woman, and can also work out cheaper.

The problem with the above procedures is that neither one can guarantee you a baby! On the other hand, if you do get pregnant from these gender selection procedures, the chance of you having the gender of your choice is a lot more promising. At around 90% success rate with a girl, and 80% success rates for boys, you would be well on your way to the baby of your dreams.

As baby sex selection becomes more widely available, will planning to have a baby also include planning its gender too?

For more information on gender selection, including some none expensive methods, visit: http://www.new-baby-and-beyond.com/natural-gender-selection.html

The Five Senses Of Bonding With Your Baby

by: Lynn Powers

I didn’t fully comprehend the need – or the satisfaction that came with it – to bond with my child until he was born and I held him for the very first time. But although the bonding began that day in the delivery room, it didn’t end there.

The parent-baby bonding process takes time. But that process will probably be one of the most rewarding times your life. The moments when your baby stops crying when he sees you walk around the corner, smiles at you for the first time, and falls asleep contentedly on your shoulder are priceless. They are all indications that your baby feels safe and loved in your presence.

They are all signs that you have bonded.

In those precious first weeks of life, your baby responds to you using all five of her senses. Here are some ways to engage her in each one and ensure the emotional attachment you create with your child is healthy –and rewarding – for you both.

1. SOUND – Your baby has been hearing you speak for months before he was born. Chances are he already recognizes the sound and tone of your voice. By speaking gently to your baby or singing lullaby’s to him, even when you are out of his range of sight, you are letting him know you are there. He trusts your voice and every time he hears you, it bonds you to him. And it won’t be long before he talks back.

2. TOUCH – There is little that soothes a baby more than when you pick her up and hold her close. The security she feels increases each time you respond when she cries, rock her to sleep, or let her curl her hand around your finger. Also, research indicates there are many benefits to nurturing your baby with infant massage. This can also be a wonderful time of bonding with your baby. Check into local classes or conduct online research regarding the techniques of infant massage.

3. SIGHT – Is there anything that can compare with the moment when your baby locks his eyes with yours and breaks into a smile? Focusing your gaze on your child sends the message that he has your full attention which is essential for creating a bond with your child. He needs to know he is the center of your world and maintaining eye contact tells him that he is, indeed.

4. TASTE – Of course, breastfeeding is the way your baby will bond through taste. Your milk has a distinct taste that she immediately becomes accustomed to because that taste also is her primary source of nutrition. But even if you don’t breastfeed your baby, the formula you use will become the tasting bond for you and your child. While it’s true that anyone is able to feed a non-breastfed baby, when combined with the other four senses, your child will feel especially secure when you’re the one holding the bottle.

5. SMELL – We all have a unique scent to our bodies and it doesn’t take long for your baby to know yours. It is especially important not to wear perfumes around your baby that might turn him off to you or cause you to be more unrecognizable to him. Clean and fresh is better and promotes a more familiar – and gentler – atmosphere for your baby.

The opportunity to bond with your newborn lasts only for a time and then is gone, forever. Whatever you do, make the most of each moment and savor the special time you have together.

Do You Have An Incredible Kid?

by: Lynn Powers

What parent doesn’t think his or her children are absolutely incredible? I know I do! The Bible tells us in Psalm 37:26 that children are a blessing. And now there is a day to celebrate our kids!

The third Thursday in March is set aside for Absolutely Incredible Kid Day. Campfire USA created this special day to show kids that they are loved and cared for. If you’re a parent, they encourage you to write a letter to your kids today. If you don’t have children of your own, any incredible kid will do!

So a letter is a great idea. But what are some other things you can do to show your child that he or she is exceptionally special?

• Tell him! Don’t like to write? Then just say it! To a child, nothing can quite compare to hearing Mom or Dad say he’s wonderful. Watch your kid’s face light up and heart swell when you brag on him and tell him what an awesome kid he is.

• Advertise. Call your local newspaper and run a classified ad, “just because.” Tell thousands of readers just why your child is the most incredible kid in the world. Be sure to cut out the ad, laminate and enlarge it. Wrap it up along with a copy of that day’s paper. Place it on her mirror or frame it and place it in front of her plate at dinner.

• Send an E-Card. If your child spends a lot of time on the computer and has his own e-mail address, send him one or more e-cards, telling him how much he means to you. There are plenty of sites offering free e-cards, including http://www.123greetings.com and http://www.free-e-cards-online.com which offer several cards to choose from. You’re sure to find one with the message you want to deliver.

• Turn on the Radio. Does she have a favorite radio station? How about calling to request a dedication of a particular song she loves? Or choose a song yourself that speaks of a parent’s love for their child (Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carlisle, Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman and You are the Sunshine of my Life by Stevie Wonder are just a few that come to mind.) Just be sure you’ll be in a place where you can turn the radio on so she’ll hear your dedication.

• Do his chores. If it’s your son’s job to set the table or take out the trash on Thursdays, do it for him. The fact that not only does he get a day off from his chores but that you’re doing the work for him speaks volumes of love and appreciation to your child.

• What’s for Dinner? Whether hot dogs, pizza, macaroni and cheese or a trip to McDonalds, let your kid choose what to eat for dinner. Throw in a yummy ice cream sundae for dessert. They’ll not only have incredibly full tummies, but also incredibly full hearts.

• Open the Bible. Refer to various Bible stories that tell about God using kids to accomplish His purpose. (David, Samuel, the boy with the five loaves of bread and two fish…). Remind your child that God wonderfully and beautifully created her and that He has an incredible plan for her life.

Of course, kids should be told they are special every day – not just one day of the year. However, use this day to begin the habit of demonstrating just how important your child is. To you, to the world, and to God.

If only every child could fully grasp just how magnificent they truly are.

Now that would be incredible!

Whining And Dining

by: Lynn Powers

Have you ever gone to a restaurant to relax after a hard day’s work only to have a child at the next table screaming, crying, or throwing temper tantrums throughout your entire meal?

It’s not easy, if not impossible, to enjoy yourself, let alone carry on a nice conversation with whomever you’re dining with while listening to a screaming child. Although we can sympathize with the parents, who are usually red-faced and greatly embarrassed by their child’s behavior, frankly, it’s distracting and annoying.

I will confess I’ve been that embarrassed parent. I am ashamed to say our family’s presence has annoyed our share of fellow diners. When my kids were younger, there were more than a few times when they threw fits in the middle of a dining-out experience. Almost enough to boycott dining out until they were in their teens. Or, at least limit eating out to fast food restaurants where whining children are the norm, rather than the exception.

If you’re daring enough to admit you’ve been there, if your child has screamed, cried or temper tantrumed and annoyed his or her way through dinner, read on. Here are some tips for making your dining out experience more peaceful for everyone.

1. Choose the restaurant wisely. There is truly no need to eliminate sit down restaurants from your life for the next ten years (fine dining, maybe). If a restaurant provides high chairs, it means that children are welcome (or at least tolerated!) If you’re concerned about distracting other diners, ask for a table in the corner or in an area that’s noisier to begin with, such as near the kitchen.

2. Timing is Everything. Avoid scheduling your lunch or dinner during rush hour, when the restaurant will be more crowded. The least busy time to dine out is typically between two and five PM. Timing your child’s mood is also a must. Taking a child out to eat when he’s tired almost guarantees a dinnertime meltdown. Right after naptime is usually best.

3. Be Prepared. I am convinced that dining out with children is one of the main reasons companies design huge purses. Throw a few extra things in your bag before leaving for the restaurant. Things like snacks and other food options in case your child decides she doesn’t like anything on the menu. Small toys or books that can occupy her while she waits for her food. Many restaurants provide these things for times such as this. Ask your hostess or waitress. She’ll probably be glad you did.

4. Don’t Lose your Cool. As embarrassed as you may be if your child throws a fit in the middle of a busy restaurant, and no matter how many angry looks you get from fellow diners, take it in stride. Yelling at your child or getting frustrated only makes everyone feel worse. Walk out with your child for a few moments to see if he’ll calm down. If not, you may need to leave the restaurant altogether. Apologize to your waitress, ask for carryout containers and hightail it out of there.

One last thought: don’t give up hope! Just because you had an unpleasant dining experience this time doesn’t mean it won’t be smooth sailing next week. Try, try again. Pray for God to give you patience with your child. And pray for other diners to extend you a little grace as you master the dining out experience with your child.

Using Natural Ways to Increase Fertility

by: Lyta Humphris

Are you finding it difficult to become pregnant? If so you can do many simple things to improve your chances of conception, the way we live can have a big effect on the reproductive system of both men and women and most people prefer natural ways to increase fertility. You may both have to change your life-style to incorporate healthy influences, and eliminate things you enjoy that reduce your fertility.

Increasing or improving your fertility is something you can both do. You can make sure your weight is within the range that is helpful for conceiving. You can make sure you incorporate a regular gentle exercise programme into your daily life such as walking; cycling or swimming, being fit and active is beneficial for fertility. You can make sure you and your partner are eating healthily, and eliminate habits that may lower your chances of conceiving.

Alcohol Reduction

Alcohol can put pregnancy at risk. According to some studies, the risk of miscarriage appears to increase with moderate drinking during the first three months of pregnancy, particularly in the first weeks.

Reducing Stress

Stress can have a big effect on fertility. In women under stress, the reproductive hormone prolactin is over-produced and this can interfere with ovulation. The hypothalamus stops secreting gonadotrophin hormone, which in turn will affect the release of both the luteinizing hormone and follicle-stimulating hormone. As these hormones stimulate ovulation – fertility is affected.

Self help for stress is regular exercise, deep breathing techniques, hypnotherapy and visualization – a combined approach can include the following:

– Acupuncture
– Nutrition
– Hypnotherapy

Fertility is a whole-body event, not something that happens just in our reproductive organs – that is why a holistic approach often works well. There may be a need for more fertility awareness and lifestyle changes to improve the chances of starting the pregnancy, or there may be a need for nutritional supplements, relaxation and de-stressing techniques, acupuncture, and massage.

Nutritional Improvement

You should not overlook nutrition in fertility treatment – it is important to have a good level of nourishment that will allow your body to function well, and it is of course a very natural way to increase fertility! Bad eating habits can lower the reserves of nutrients that are necessary for reproductive hormone systems to work properly.

Your hormonal balance and fertility are affected by what you eat, your nutrient levels and how well your digestion works. If you are short of essential fatty acids, vitamin A, vitamin B6, zinc, magnesium, and antioxidants, then your hormone production may be blocked – resulting in an imbalance that makes conception less likely.

Acupuncture

Have you ever wondered about the treatment of infertility with traditional medicine and acupuncture? Good candidates for trying medical acupuncture are people who have unexplained infertility – acupuncture is effective for balancing the body’s energies and raising the receptiveness of the body for conception. Men and women with a physical problem, such as damaged fallopian tubes, or a low sperm count, would be encouraged to try acupuncture in addition to their medical treatment.

When skilfully applied, acupuncture is effective in correcting many of the imbalances that underlie the complex physical and hormonal disorders that lead to a reduction in fertility.

Smoking Cessation

Women who smoke are more likely to take longer to conceive, they have an increased risk of miscarriage, and lower oestrogen and progesterone levels. Men who smoke are likely to have decreased sperm density, less motile sperm, reduced testosterone, and an increase in abnormal sperm. These risks for both men and women increase with the number of cigarettes smoked.

Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy is exceptionally beneficial and natural way to increase fertility. Hypnotherapists are already using Hypnotherapy to help women give birth peacefully, and teaching them that a normal birth should be a calm and natural process. Learning simple but specialised relaxation, and breathing, and other techniques, make the whole birth easier and more comfortable.

With unexplained infertility, hypnotherapists teach you to let go of the stress you have been holding on to, using specialised relaxation, and breathing techniques. It teaches you to let go of any emotional blocks or worries you may have that can create infertility issues – Hypnotherapy can help you identify and process emotional issues that might be interfering with conception.

In addition to dealing with deep-seated fears, hypnotherapy is effective in stress reduction, and this in turn allows for hormonal rebalancing. This has been seen in cases where there is too much prolactin being produced which can inhibit ovulation. In a relaxed environment at a clinic, you can work together to bring about positive attitudes and beliefs.

You can give your unconscious mind free rein here and allow yourself to be creative, free, and prepared to follow your heart’s wishes.

So there you have it – a range of natural ways to Increase infertility . Choose as many as befits your lifestyle and make things easier for yourself and your baby.

What Does Your Child REALLY Need From You?

by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Most parents want to be good parents. Yet parenting is one of those things that does not have hard and fast rules. So how do we know what to do? How do we know what will support our children in being all they can be?

One of the most important things for parents to do is to learn to trust their own intuition. Your feelings tell you when you are on course or off course in your behavior with your children. When things feel right inside, then you know that you are being a truly loving parent, and when they feel wrong inside, you know you are out of alignment with what is in your highest good and your children’s highest good.

I remember my mother telling me that she used to put her fist in her mouth to stop herself from crying and from picking me up when I was an infant and cried. She had read in Dr. Spock that babies should not be picked up when they cry, that it is good for their lungs to cry, and that she would spoil me if she picked me up. But her insides were telling her the opposite – that babies cry when they need food, changing, or love. It is so sad that she followed Dr. Spock instead of her own inner knowing.

Now research has proven that babies who are not picked up when they cry become more dependent and insecure than babies who are kept with their mothers. In other countries, babies sleep with their parents until they no longer want to, feeling safe all night. In our country, most babies are alone at night, some crying themselves to sleep. This is not only sad, it is not healthy for the baby.

So the first thing your child needs from you is to trust your inner knowing rather than any book you read.

Your child needs your loving presence – not your busy preoccupied presence. For your children to feel important to you, they need to feel you fully present with them – reading to them daily, playing with them, holding and comforting them, and listening to them.

Your children need for you to create a healthy environment for them by feeding them healthy food, restricting screen time – TV, computer, video games – and making sure they play outdoors and get enough exercise. They need your encouragement to develop their hobbies and interests. They need you to try natural remedies before resorting to drugs for illness, so that you don’t set them up for more illness with the side effects of drugs.

They need for you to be a good role model of self-care. Children need to see their parents taking full responsibility for their own feelings instead of being victims and blaming others. With this role modeling, they will also learn to take full responsibility for their own feelings. Learning and practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach will support you in becoming this loving role model for your children.

Children also need you to be a role model for care of the environment. My daughter told me that my 3-1/2 year-old grandson got very upset with the checker at the market for using a plastic bag. “No, no plastic bags! It’s bad for the environment!” he told the checker. By role modeling caring for our planet, we can raise children who are much more conscious of taking care of our environment.

Your children need to see you being connected with a spiritual Source of love, peace and wisdom in order to naturally connect with their own higher power. By developing your spiritual connection, they can learn to have their own.

What do your children really need from you? They need you to learn to be all you can be so they have the role modeling and permission to be all they can be.

Entitlement Vs. Earning: How To Avoid Harmful Help As A Parent

by: Cameron Taylor

There’s a story about a boy who came from a wealthy family. His father had built a large, multimillion-dollar business from the ground up. As this father approached retirement, he brought his son into his office and told him that he wanted him to take over his company. The son was excited to take over his father’s multimillion-dollar empire and asked, “When are you going to give it to me?” The father replied, “I am not going to give you anything, you must earn it.” The son replied, “How am I supposed to do that?”

The father answered, “First, you must earn $10,000 to purchase a small portion of ownership in the company. After this is accomplished you will get your next instruction.” As the son left the house to being his quest, his mother grabbed him and thrust $10,000 into his hand and told him to give the money to his father. Thrilled by his good fortune, he ran to find his father. His dad was sitting by the fireplace reading a book. The son approached his father and said, “Dad, Dad, here’s $10,000 for the business.” Without even looking up, the father grabbed the $10,000 and tossed it in the fire and watched it burn. The son stood frozen in amazement. As the money burned, the father said, “Come back when you have earned the money!”

As he left the room, his mother once again thrust $10,000 into his hand. This time she instructed him that he needed to be more convincing in selling his father on the idea that he had actually worked for the money. So the boy scuffed himself up a little, jogged around the block a few times, and then went to find his father again. His father was again sitting in front of the fireplace reading a book. The boy approached his father and said, “It sure is tough earning money. Here’s the $10,000. I really do want to own the business.” Once again the father took the $10,000, and without even looking up, tossed the money in the fireplace. As the money burned, the son asked, “How did you know I didn’t earn the money?” The father replied, “It is easy to lose or spend money that is not your own.”

At this point, the son realized he wasn’t going to get the business unless he actually earned the $10,000. He wanted the business, so when his mother offered him money again, he declined her offer. He went out and picked up some odd jobs. His jobs required him to get up early and stay up late, but he worked and worked until he finally earned $10,000. Proudly, he walked into his father and presented him with the money. Like before, his father was sitting by the fire reading a book. Again the father took the money and threw it in the fire. As the money hit the flames, the son dove to the floor and risking burns and pain stuck his hands into the fire and pulled out the $10,000. The father looked his son in the eyes and said, “I see you really did earn the money this time.”

Many parents make the mistake of provided damaging financial assistance to their children. Their motives are usually good. They want to help their children get started in life or assist when a financial need rises. Unfortunately, the result is often opposite to the one desired. Instead of helping children become self sufficient, they become dependant. Rather than sparking initiative and discipline, the children become idle and indulgent. Instead of being achievement oriented they become entitlement oriented, ungrateful and demanding. “Children who always get what they want will want as long as they live.” Research has shown that “in general, the more dollars adult children receive [from their parents] the fewer they accumulate, while those who are given fewer dollars accumulate more.” How can we make sure our children grow up with the earning mentality rather than the entitlement mentality?

While starting my first business, I often relied on one of my business partners and mentors, who was a multimillionaire, for advice. My business was growing but struggled to turn a profit. I continued to work hard but things were getting tougher and tougher for me financially. I went to my rich partner and asked for a loan to help me get by until the business was profitable. He declined to give me any assistance. I was a little frustrated and said, “You are making millions a year and I am struggling to stay alive. Please help me.” He looked at me and I could tell he wanted to help me. He was close to giving in to my plea when he replied, “If I take away your struggle, I will also take away your victory.” He then shared the following story.

“There was a young boy who came across a caterpillar hanging in a cocoon. He went to see the cocoon several times each day waiting for the butterfly to emerge. After a few days, the young boy began to see the cocoon move as a butterfly struggled to come out. The boy a little impatient and wanting to help ran home and got a pair of scissors. He returned and carefully cut open the cocoon and out fell a partially developed butterfly. This caterpillar would never fly. The young boy innocently killed the butterfly he was trying to help.” At the time, I didn’t find this advice helpful, but today I am grateful to a wise partner and mentor who resisted the temptation to cut open my cocoon and take away the struggle of life while starting a business.

One of the best ways to create an earning mentality in our children is to teach them how to work. Work helps get rid of the idea that one is entitled or has the right to something. I have identified 3 important factors that help teach children good work ethics. Parents need to look for opportunities to assign or create chores and work for children that have the following characteristics:

1. Purpose

The job assigned must have real life purpose. As a child, there was a large vacant plot of land behind my house that was very proficient in growing weeds. Dad sectioned off the plot and gave each child a section. The instruction was simply to keep the weeds down by pulling the weeds by hand. I can remember hating this job because it was always hot and dusty and the weeds grew fast and tall. I finally asked my dad why we had to keep the weeds down. Dad then explained that it was to make sure the weeds don’t spread into the yard and garden so the grass will be soft to play on and the garden will grow lots of good food to eat. This explanation gave my sweat and pains a purpose that I was willing to work for. I still didn’t like weeding my section but, now understanding the purpose of the job, I had motivation to make sure my plot was free of weeds.

Sometimes as parents we give chores that simply have the purpose of keeping our children busy. These chores are probably better than letting children sit in front of the TV or play video games all day. However, jobs with real life purpose, once accomplished, will ignite a feeling of true accomplishment and contribution to a collective or greater good. The feelings of purpose and accomplishment are feelings everyone desire. It is wise to use these feelings to fuel future assignments with purpose.

2. Consistency

Parents need to be consistent in assigning chores. If making the bed is an important skill or chore you want your child to learn or accomplish then you as the parent must be consistent is giving the assignment everyday and just as consistent in following up and making sure the job is done and done well. If you are as consistent in assigning a chore and just as consistent in following up and helping the child accomplish the chore then the child will progressively and consistently accomplish the chore alone.

The job that teaches good work ethics is one that is on a consistent schedule. Punctuality is important in the work place and in life. It wasn’t until I got a job my first job out side of the home that I realized the importance of consistency. While in Junior High I worked at a local grocery store where I was required to be at work on time. I’ve found that those who had jobs outside of the home while still in high school have a stronger work ethic than those who did not. Having noticed this trend leads me to believe that teaching a child to work is not simply teaching them how to do a few jobs but it’s teaching a way of life.

3. Perseverance

One of the hardest parts of life is to continue to do something when it is no longer fun or when it never was fun to begin with. The world would teach our children that such uncomfort or pain should not be tolerated. The world would go as far as to teach that if pain is felt then what ever is causing the pain is bad and should be avoided. It is on the contrary that good work ethics are learned. It is important to teach our youth to continually work past the point of comfort. Not many reach this point regularly, but it is here that character is permanently built. Learning good work ethics takes persevering through the uncomfort and beyond the pain of work.

Right out of High school I worked at a lumber mill in Idaho. My job was to stack lumber as it came off the saw. This was the most physically demanding job I’ve ever had. At the end of every day I was physically drained from being baked in the saw mill from the summer sun and from keeping up with the mill as it relentlessly kicked out lumber to be stacked. It was just a miserable job. I remember asking myself during one of my short breaks if this job was worth the pain. The thought and answer came back that “It wouldn’t be called work if it wasn’t work!” Well, that didn’t really help me feel better but it did help me understand that not all work is fun.

Business owner and church leader, Spencer W. Kimball said “I remember some years ago, a young man and his wife and little children moved to our Arizona community. As we got acquainted with them, he told me of the rigorous youth he had spent as he grew up. He’d had to get up at five and six o’clock in the morning and go out and deliver papers. He’d had to work on the farm and he’d had to do many things that were still rankling (irritation/resentment) in his soul. Then he concluded with this statement: ‘My boys are never going to have to do that.’ And we saw his boys grow up and you couldn’t get them to do anything. They [sluff] off their church activities and nothing seemed very important to them.”

If you protect your children from struggle and responsibility, you will also prevent them from growing. Help you child learn how to work and earn by assigning work that has real purpose, consistency, and requires perseverance. Good work ethic and the earning mentality cannot be purchased with money but are developed through experience, responsibility and education. The Entitlement mentality is a form of bondage for it is simply living off of others —for if you take from a person his responsibility to care for himself you also take from him the opportunity to be free. Do not simply give your kids money, give them education and opportunity and teach them how to work. It costs a lot less and will develop the productive, self sufficient children you desire.

Year Two: Adventures in Instant Parenthood

by: Gracely Sinclair

It’s amazing how life’s time can leave you…fast. It was almost one year ago that our daughter came to us. We had found her in foster care and opened our home to her. This, not knowing that our son was already growing inside me… the son that the doctors had, for ten years, told us we couldn’t have.

So…

I think that receiving two children in the space of five months, as rookie parents (and one a newborn!), was the toughest thing that either of us had ever done. But it was also a sudden open door onto an avenue lined with good things. The avenue was stony and sometimes hard to walk. But the good things became gooder and gooder.

Why haven’t I written down every observation on parenthood; every cute look and lisped phrase; every gurgle, smile, and fart? Because I’ve been reaching for my pen and formulating half-sentences for almost a year. But always, before being able to commit thought to paper, the spaghetti boiled over, the phone rang, the family walked in, or the pen dropped to the floor and my thoughts ended in, “Zzzzzzzz”. Now comes the actual effort of recording our adventures as a new family. And just in time… I forget things quickly, easily, and often forever.

“She”

Our daughter is the daughter of a niece of ours, gone wild. We’re not sure where the niece is, just that she’s not wherever her various children are.

She was 10 months old when we got a phone call from a frantic grandmother, telling us that the child had been abandoned to foster care in Washington state. The grandmother lives in Mexico and could do nothing. Fortunately, God had stayed our hand when we had considered adoption a year or so before so that, though eligible to adopt in Oregon, we hadn’t yet. That smoothed the path for the child that He had for us.

The gears of the state grind slowly, though, and another year had gone by before we got to see She for the first time. In between was the paperwork that means the state is letting you care for this little thing instead of doing it themselves. Finally, though, we got to visit her.

We’ve talked about that moment many times. How frightened we were, waiting for the door to open. How such a small being could make us – grown adults who drive and have jobs– shake in our shoes! And then, there she was. The most adorable 22 month-old girl with braided hair and eyes that seemed big enough to wrap around the sides of her head. She was perfect.

Well, almost perfect… A month later we had her home and two months later she was calling us Mommy and Daddy. We were over the moon and then down into the valley as the terrible two’s began in earnest. But the hills and valleys, thankfully, were interspersed with each other so that life averaged out on the wonderful side.

When she arrived, we could count the number of real words that She could say on a couple of hands. She still took a bottle at night and we couldn’t figure out where to get her hair done. I probably obsessed on this last point more than any other. I wasn’t able to take care of my own hair, let alone the mop she came with.

She cried at night and we had to learn just how to comfort her. She had a drooling problem; thank heavens that’s starting to take care of itself. And she had a habit of biting and hitting when angry. That resolved itself with reasonable discipline. But it’s a work in progress and her progress has been amazing.

She just loved to pat Mommy’s growing tummy and talked endlessly about the baby inside. Her own tummy was shown with pride to all, and she wondered aloud if she would have a baby, too. (When the baby did come, I wonder if it registered. The patting of the tummy and the wondering where the baby is continued for some time…)

We quickly learned that She did not like to be thwarted. She wanted what she wanted. She wanted it now, and she told you so often. When whatever it was was not forthcoming… well, we literally bought ear plugs. But a trip to the park or a ride on a slide and especially the adventure at Zoo Lights in Portland showed us her active, athletic, and curious side. The sponge part of her now is inside her – wondering, asking, learning, and repeating what she’s learned.

When she arrived, She fit into size 6 or 6-1/2 shoes. Now we’re lucky to get her into a size 9. She has grown some inches and we can make out cheekbones where we used to see chub. She no longer eats her crayons and actually enjoys applying them to paper. She loves working with glue and other art supplies… anything sticky. And – we can’t wait – she’s been on the potty a good many times, with reasonable (if not consistent) results.

Now She speaks well, often in full sentences. She has an amazing memory and knows some Korean words that she’s taught at her day care. She talks about her friends and wants me to make her babies and her toy bears talk and move. Then she talks back to them, consoling and chiding them, just like Mommy does.

With us she’s very direct. She has given me a count (“1 – 2 – 3! Time out, Mommy!”) and tells us to go to sleep. She loves “my music”, and bounces and sings to Jesus Loves Me, The Bare Necessities, and The Mickey Mouse Club March, among others. She dances to music and TV theme songs and commercials. Whenever we have company and the dancing starts, we all sit down and watch “The She Show.”

She gives me imaginary presents to open, since Christmas made such a big hit with her. She wonders where the stockings went and why we had to take down the lights. She always wants to go back to the beach, which is where we spent Thanksgiving with my family. And she wonders how big she’ll have to be before she can go see Mickey at Disneyland. After we tell her that she has to get bigger and stronger, she says, “I get my coat.”

She loves her Daddy’s family, who are all in town. She will look at me and ask after a member of the family…Uncle This or Auntie That. I’ll tell her where they probably are at the moment and then I’ll say, “Who else?” And we’ll talk about every member of the family that we can think of. Of course, she wants to see the cousins every day. And even more of course, though she knows the answer well, “Where’s Daddy?”

She doesn’t do well with change. This is typical of foster and adopted and… well… just kids. She cries often while in bed and it’s sometimes hard to figure out why. Heaven help us, we get angry. Tired people often do… But then came the day (quite recently, really) when she moved across the room into her “big girl bed”, which is furnished with a rail that has her name cut into it by another brother who is a woodworker in his spare and generous time.

Her Daddy bought her a Tinker Bell light and another Princess night light that help her deal with the dark. It’s so comfy and cushy and PINK that I’m envious sometimes. She surrounds herself with plush toys and favorite blankets and settles in for the night – more and more, the entire night. And we have peace… blessed peace… and then the boy wakes up and wants his food.

“He”

I have never been happier than when I was pregnant with our son. At 37 years old, with special health issues, I was considered a high risk in pregnancy and had ultrasounds almost every week. I had a high-risk team of obstetricians following me around with charts, probes, and pee tubes. This last item was always welcome.

I look back at pictures of myself during that time and see this glow and smooth radiance in my face that I remember inside me but never noticed in the mirror. I was never sick or even the slightest bit nauseous. My other symptoms disappeared almost entirely… no more soreness or swelling, no more aching back until the very end.

He wanted us to know immediately that he was a HE. During one of the initial ultrasounds, he flipped himself over and spread his legs as wide as he could. The ultrasound picture of his defining male characteristic is one of my favorites. I’ll never forget the tone in my husband’s voice when I told him he was going to have a son. Just a very, very quiet, “No way.” There was so much awe, hope, and fear in that tone and in that voice. It moved me as few other speeches have.

He grew well and exactly on schedule. He turned over from a breach position to a head-down position in plenty of time. He got the hiccups so often that it became no longer novel. We had several baby showers and are still going through clothes and toys donated to us from friends and family. We have bought very little for the kid; and he has everything he could possibly want and more.

Then we went to the hospital in one of those scheduled and arranged situations. We would be induced here and then the birth would happen there, they said calmly. My obstetrician had a party to go to but would be back in “plenty of time”, since labor would probably take such-and-such hours.

Uh huh…

Hours after being given the pitossin to induce me, I had barely dilated at all. In the meantime, the baby’s heart rate was up then down then up and down. They broke my water manually and OWWWWW… the contractions started, minutes apart and hard as h-e-double-hockey-sticks. Sorry, Grandma. Hours of this, I thought. Are you crazy??

The senior member of my OB’s practice arrived and suggested a Cesarean procedure with an epidural. I have rarely been so grateful to any man still living… or dead for that matter. I love whoever Mr. Cesarean was! The operation began, with my husband gowning himself with shaking hands (he’s not a hospital guy). And minutes later the epidural was in effect and my son was being shown to us.

I will never in my life forget that moment. I burst into tears for so many reasons that it seems silly to recount them. He was safe…he was here…he was ours…he was healthy-looking…we had done it. Thank you, God. Thank you forever.

Four days later I was released. The doctors studied the baby and myself for after-effects and drug levels and we were fine. He developed cradle cap and, in pictures, was downright ugly unless you were his mother and you were holding him at the time. He was skinny and seemed undersized, though I was assured he was exactly average in that regard. He smiled on his second day of life but wailed in a surprisingly piercing way when hungry or tired. I was exhausted and stressed. The doctors were sending me home with a life that I hadn’t had when I came into the hospital. Where was the manual? Who would I call at 2:00 a.m. when we were so stupid with fatigue that we were confused about which end the nipple went into?

I don’t know how we would have gotten through that first month without the love and backup of family and friends. They cooked and cleaned for us. They came and brought us hope and encouragement. When the house was filthy and there was no food in it, one couple went to the store and brought back $300 worth of goods and sent us to bed while they cleaned and cared for our kids. We got sleep. The dishes were done. There was food. We were speechless…we still are.

Day by day, hour by hour, month by month He grew and we came to understand him better. It took a solid month before routine had been re-established and we could eat and sleep with any amount of comfort. I can’t stop looking continuously into his bed, to check for breathing sounds. That will probably end when he’s 12.

Then breast-feeding became bottle-feeding. He suddenly was able to hold his head up and had a magnificent grip. We noticed immediately that he was strong; he was a true son of my husband’s. Much more alert than the average athlete, though. He noticed everything and studied everyone. And they always received a smile. The boy was a smiling fool, from the beginning.

The cradle cap moved back and the fine dark blonde hair began moving forward. The baby acne starting clearing up and I felt like a teenager, limp with relief that it was less visible all the time. He started eating more and more and crying less and less. The blankets with which we had to prop him in his swing became thin blankets, then disappeared. Then we had to strap him in because he was big enough to fall out.

He reached for us, then grabbed onto us. Then he reached for She’s toys. That was a mistake. Then he arched his back and looked behind him, above him, around him. Then he rolled over to get something and light dawned. Motion! Now we have a very active boy on our hands and, in our 40’s, get more exercise within the confines of our home than out of it.

Year Two

I’ve never imagined my life as full as this. Even as a young woman, my visions of motherhood were blurry and distant. I never knew where my life was headed in that regard. Then, after several discouragements, those hopes faded almost completely.

I’m so grateful to God for taking this decision out of our hands. People’s eyes get big and I hear breathed “Wow, you’re busy,” when they hear about us. And for us it is hard to step back and just see who we are. There’s always a load of laundry waiting to be folded, the same spaghetti boiling over, and the two kids competing for our attention.

But we know what we can seldom speak. That life has become mission. That movement now has meaning. And that we are the luckiest two people on earth….

Let Year Two begin!

Seven Important Facts You May Want To Know About Saving For College

by: Robert Walsh

Major Corporations want to be able to hire college graduates.

The average college graduate makes approximately 70% more than the average high school graduate in his working career.

The cost of college is increasing faster than the inflation rate.

Dollar wise, the cost of college increases at more than $1,000 per year.

If you are able to SAVE $480 per month with an interest rate of 3.5% in a College Fund from the time your child is born to the time you send him/her off to college at age 18, you will have paid for 4 years at a public college or university ($145,000) with today’s projection.

With an average of 40% savings of monthly shopping costs for food and household goods, you can save an extra $226 per month to invest in a college-savings-plan.

Scholarships and grants are available for families based on yearly incomes of $65,000 or less.

Saving-and-paying for college may not be as difficult as you think. Save-money with everyday-shopping is the smart-way to save-for-college.

Generally, the more you hear about the high rising costs for a college education today, the cost factor becomes more frightening every year for the average American family. As with anything that is frightening we try to avoid it. We hide from it. We may even want to bury our heads in the sand, and hope that it just goes away. Or it paralyzes us into non-action. No matter what one’s response to fear is…as loving parents you will have to face the challenge head on one day… and the earlier the better.

Facing a fear head on, even as children, is ultimately how we all conquer our fears. So let’s journey together, it’s easier than doing it by one’s self…there’s safety in numbers. And you may become a lot safer with these numbers to plan, save, and pay for a college education for your son or daughter.

“SHOP-SMART SHOPPING-TIPS SAVE MONEY” will be our slogan. Let’s start with some guidelines or rules.

The guideline or RULE #1 is very simple: NEVER PAY FULL PRICE for anything you buy. With a little bit of effort you will be surprised how much you can SAVE before you go out shopping.

According to a new poll conducted by the consumer Reports National Research Center for “ShopSmart” magazine, (women) shoppers who use coupons and store loyalty cards save over 10% a year on groceries…estimated to be the equivalent of $678 a year with an average weekly shopping trip of $116.00. Actually, YOU CAN DO A LOT BETTER THAN TEN PERCENT! The women in the survey used their coupons occasionally, and they did not necessarily use all of them.

This leads to RULE #2 – ALWAYS SIGN UP FOR STORE-LOYALTY CARDS. Don’t miss out on a sale. Sign up at all the local grocery stores in your area, and it’s FREE. Each week different stores have different items on sale. For example, if you have a loyalty card for store A, but not store B; and your brand of coffee or laundry detergent goes on Sale at store B, you will miss the SALE. And you pay FULL PRICE at store A because there was no Sale on your coffee or laundry detergent there this week. BE SMART….SHOP SMART makes the loyalty cards work for you. BE LOYAL TO YOURSELF and SAVE MONEY!

RULE #3 – TO OPTIMIZE YOUR SAVINGS- ALWAYS USE COUPONS. Coupons are easy to obtain. Check your Sunday Newspaper first, go online, and check the store sale ads both in the mail and in the store.

Rule #4 – ALWAYS STOCK UP, and BUY IN BULK WHAT IS ON SALE when it is a highly used item or high ticket item like coffee or laundry detergent. For example, your brand of coffee which is regularly priced as $10.99 for a large can (34 oz. or more) goes on sale for $5.99 for the shopper with the store loyalty card. That’s a savings of $5.00. Add one .50 cents-off manufacturer’s coupon. Now you just have saved 50%. (Hint: Keep an eye open for the coupon dispensers that hang off the shelves in the grocery store. If it offers a coupon for an item you use, take 3-4 of them, and save them until the product goes on sale prior to the coupon’s expiration date.)

Back to the coffee example… let’s say, you have four coupons for your brand of coffee. You purchase four cans of coffee and stock up at this price… and WHAM you just SAVED $22.00 for a 50% SAVINGS….much better than the average 10% that survey suggested. Even if you go out to the store just for the coffee that’s on SALE….YOU MADE A GREAT DEAL!

To keep your savings at a 50% level leads to Rule #5 – TAKE ADVANTAGE of BUY 1 GET 1 FREE OFFERS, especially on products your family uses on a regular basis. Again, buy in Bulk.

Rule #6 – BE FLEXIBLE with your shopping list when you see something on SALE:an item might not be on your shopping list this week; but you see that it’s on SALE, and you buy it. Now, there won’t be a need to put it on your shopping list for the next two or three weeks, and you SAVED.

Rule #7: ALWAYS ASK FOR A RAIN CHECK FOR A SALE ITEM that the store has run out of. This way you will be guaranteed not to miss out on the SALE ITEM. Rain checks can be good for one month or one year, depending on the store policy. (Hint: On the rain check ask for maximum amount of the item possible for a multiple purchase in the future.) These Shop-Smart shopping-tips will help you save-money with your everyday-shopping.

Another area to look for to SAVE MONEY is with your kidswear. You can SAVE BIG when you buy Kids clothing at half-off prices whether for your infant, toddler, or teenager. You can save up to half-off on top-quality designer kidswear. Think of how many more dollars YOU CAN SAVE and add to YOUR CHILD’S college savings plan. Each year, how much do you spend on clothing for your kids? Do the math…how much is the 50% off savings worth to you and your CHILD’S FUTURE COLLEGE EDUCATION….year after year. Don’t allow your education dollars educate someone else’s child. As a loving parent your responsibility is to your child first, and foremost.

These are just some of the possible ways to save half-off with your grocery shopping and your children’s clothing purchases that will begin to make college a reality for your child. Use these SHOP-SMART SHOPPING-TIPS to SAVE MONEY. Once you see how much money you save for your child’s education…set a goal….plan-save-and-pay for college with your monthly savings.

The survey indicated saving 10 percent on your grocery shopping would generate savings of $678 per year. My challenge to each of you is to average SAVINGS of 40% on your purchases. If you can do that…. you will realize savings up to $2,712 a year, or $226 per month; and that’s just on your groceries alone. Saving-and-paying for College may not be as difficult as you think once you start using the SHOP-SMART SHOPPING-TIPS for all your purchases. Automatically-save money-for-college each time you FOLLOW THE RULES. They represent Free-Money-for-College you didn’t know you even had.

It is our goal at http://robertwalshkidsclothing.com to provide hope to every family who has the dream of sending their child(ren) to college. Continue to deposit MONEY in your Free-College-Money Reward Program each time you order top-quality designer kidswear for your child(ren) whatever their age…infant…toddler…teen or any age in-between. Remember Rule #1: NEVER PAY FULL PRICE.

I Can Do It! 7 Tips for Teaching Your Children Self Reliance

by: Dr Robyn Silverman

Most parents are trying to stay clear of the label “helicopter parents,” because they don’t want to be seen as the type of mother or father who hover and “overprotect.” The most powerful parents have realized that when their children have the opportunity to make mistakes, they gain an invaluable opportunity to learn from those mistakes.

It’s developmentally appropriate for children to become more and more independent, self reliant and responsible as they age. It can be challenging for parents to know when to step back and let their children try something on their own. After all, from the time their children were babies, parents have spent years meeting many to all of their child’s needs.

Striking a balance between allowing your children to do tasks for themselves and helping them when they seem to need or want is a talent of very powerful parents. This balance allows their children to thrive because they feel more confident in themselves while still feeling supported and properly mentored.

How can we instill self reliance and responsibility into our children?

(1) Allow your children to make some decisions: Even young children can make sound decisions if you give them a few select choices. Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt? Would you like a peanut butter sandwich or a cheese sandwich? As children get older, you can allow them to make more important decisions with little to no guidance. They can determine things like which Fall sport they’d like to play, if they need a tutor for math, and which friends they’d like to spend time with each day without needing much, if any, input from parents. While it’s tempting to make these kinds of decisions for your older children, they need to stand on their own two feet—after all, their decisions are often correct!

(2) Encourage your children to try tasks on their own: While it’s often quicker and more skillfully done when we do it for them, children need to engage in tasks on their own if they’re ever going to learn how to do them well. Laundry, shoe-tying, and making the bed are great places to start with young children. Older children can handle more complicated tasks such as cooking, preparing their own lunch, and doing their own homework.

(3) Model responsibility and self reliance: Parents have many responsibilities—let your child see them and hear about them! Say out loud; “This screw seems a little loose, I’ll go get the screwdriver and tighten it” or “I have to plan our weekly menu for dinner; let’s see…Monday night we’ll have…” When children see you making decisions, taking initiative, and displaying self reliant behaviors, they will engage in similar behavior.

(4) Be your child’s coach rather than his sage: When your child asks you questions about how to do something or what to do in a certain situation, sometimes asking questions is more important than providing answers. “What do you think you should do? How would you feel if you chose X? What would happen if you did Y instead?” These questions can unlock the answers in your own child’s brain so the next time he’s in a similar situation he’ll be able to call on his own experience and judgment to make a decision.

(5) Be a good support system: Sometimes this means cheering them on from the sidelines and other times it means encouraging them to try again. Of course, when children truly need your help, they should know that they can count on you. If you teach them to ask for help when they really need it (when something seems unsafe or too challenging), they should know that you will be there to assist them. Children who know that they can count on their parents when they really need it feel better about taking risks and the possibility of making mistakes.

(6) Provide them with responsibilities: Chores are great for teaching children how to be self reliant as well as how to work as a team. After teaching them how to do the chore properly, let them give it a try with some assistance, if needed. You can even work on a checklist together which helps to break down the task into easy, age-appropriate chunks. For example, (a) Take the clothes out of the dryer, (b) Separate the clothes by family member, (c) Match up all the socks…and so on. When we provide children with ways to help out the family, we give them opportunities to build responsibility, self confidence, and self reliance.

(7) Encourage healthy risk-taking: Assure your children that making mistakes is OK. The most important thing is that s/he tries! Most things are not done perfectly the first time—even when you’re an adult. It doesn’t mean “the end of the world” and there is no reason to be embarrassed. Watching our children make mistakes can be challenging. We may want to rush to their aid to shield them from impending failure or disappointment. However, when parents do this, they rob their children of some very powerful tools; self confidence, stick-to-itiveness, and of course, self reliance.

Your children are relying on you to teach them how to approach the world. Sometimes that means they have to watch you to learn how to approach the task. But other times that means, you must watch them from the sidelines and encourage them to figure it out on their own.

How Do You Know if Your Child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

by: Greg Frost

There are more than 2 million children suffering from ADHD in America, and the figures are set to increase exponentially every 4 years. Despite this, most parents are unaware of how to recognize ADHD, or how to treat it. The symptoms of ADHD are also easily mistaken for a child misbehaving, making it even harder for a parent to differentiate between the two.

ADHD is a form of Attention Deficit Disorder, and is the most common neurological disease that children suffer from, with up to 5% of the children in America afflicted. As a parent, learn to recognize the symptoms so that you can seek professional help for your child. The main symptoms of ADHD are aggression, impulsiveness, restlessness, learning disabilities, an inability to focus and hyperactivity. Hence, even for parents who know the signs to look out for, it is often difficult to draw the line between normal misbehavior and ADHD.

How to you differentiate between the various forms of ADD? Add simply means that your child is unable to concentrate, and likely to forget what you have told him less than 10 seconds ago. ADHD on the other hand, means that not only has he forgotten what you have said, he is also likely to be running around instead of staying still whilst you address him. If you suspect that your child may be suffering from ADHD, it is better to err on the side of caution and visit your doctor for a professional opinion. It is treatable, and if identified early you can make a difference in helping your child learn and cope with life.

There are many symptoms of ADHD, such as forgetfulness, restlessness, aggression, agitation, depression, anxiety, impulsive behavior and an inability to focus. However, these are highly common and often confused with the symptoms of anxiety, depression, thyroid, or a stressful environment. Excessive sugar and allergies may also cause the same symptoms, as well as if your child is highly intelligent causing him to be easily bored and hence restless.

Fortunately, more parents are gaining greater awareness of the problem, and schools have also played a major role in the dissemination of information regarding ADHD. Whilst it is a significant problem for a child suffering from ADHD, keep in mind that you are never alone and that there is help available readily. Often times, medication is the first answer that parents look to for solving the problem. However, there are other alternatives as well.

Parents should try to keep a closer watch over the child’s diet, and cut off foods with high sugar content, or possible allergies. Give the child more attention and time, and help him to feel connected to the environment. He knows that he is different, and you should try your best to help him feel that he belongs. Whilst medication can treat the symptoms, it is equally if not more important to ensure that the child’s emotional and mental health is well taken care of.

Discipline – Be Clear, Be Firm, Be Consistent

by: Helen Williams

Children learn best by being given clear, firm and consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm and consistent in their approach.

How to Discipline Children by Being Clear:

Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for your self what being clear means.

It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you mean.

It isn’t about maybe this or maybe that.

Often parents have no idea that they chop and change their minds within minutes. To become clear about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself and ask for your partner’s help in this.

“We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes”, is clear and direct. Follow this with,

“Please help me tidy up your toys now” and it means just that.

Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn’t mean soon, or later, but now.

I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then become distracted themselves by a television program, conversation or magazine. What their children observe is parents saying one thing and doing another and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied over many times each day, is it any wonder that children cease to follow simple instructions?

How to Discipline Children by Being Firm:

Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear tone.

Clarify for your self what being firm means.

To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is also being loving, kind and calm.

It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and meaning yes and sticking to it. It’s about now being now. How often does your no become perhaps, later, maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is a very common fault in how to discipline children and again it leads to numerous mixed messages for children.

Resolve within yourself and with your partner’s help to ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will become when you are clear and firm within yourself.

It is every child’s right to KNOW they can trust their parent’s boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting discipline.

“It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes” is a clear direction. Now follow through on this.

Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice helps your children to understand that you mean what you say. Being firm is about being in control of both yourself and the situation.

How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent:

Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent approach.

Clarify for yourself what being consistent means.

To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and constant.

These words immediately convey comfort don’t they?

Let’s look at the opposite of being consistent. Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That’s definitely lacking in comfort and safety.

So how do you want to be seen by your children?

To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed.

Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting discipline we are teaching our children how to have self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so they are able to make good choices for themselves.

The only way children can learn to do this is by being given the opportunities for this learning.

This means not over protecting them, or doing everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities to learn through personal experience and observation, even when this means making mistakes.

Can you see the opportunities here to change some of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones?

Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You learn to trust your own responses and your children are surrounded by your loving constancy.

This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted family.

Get Down (On The Floor!) And Play With Your Children

by: Heidi Hoff

When was the last time you and your kids rolled around on the floor together laughing yourselves silly? If you’re like me, it may have been a while! Sometimes I get caught up in household chores, give errands a priority or answer the phone when I know I should let it ring, instead of making time for my two daughters. It’s not that I don’t play with them; just the opposite is true. It simply seems as if I’m trying to fit them into my daily schedule when in fact I should be scheduling my day around them. I used to be a planner. I would try to organize activities that I thought my girls would learn something from. I’m now much more free and spontaneous with them and I’ve discovered that at their respective ages of four and 20 months that this is the type of play they prefer. Here are some suggestions on how you can be more spontaneous with your children:

1. Play “Chase Around The House” – Kids love to be chased, especially if you’re making a roaring or growling noise while you’re doing it. You’d be surprised how fast their little legs can carry them. This exercise is sure get you’re heart rate up and tone your glutes as well!

2. Have a Pillow Fight – Make sure the pillows are small and not too heavy. Throw cushions work best for this activity. Lay a few ground rules, such as not hitting in the face or on the head and when somebody yells: “stop”, then stop.

3. How Many Times Can Each of You Hop on One Foot – Again, a great cardiovascular activity for you and the kids. Alternate feet and vary the directions you’re hopping in. This is good for your children’s coordination and learning left and right, forwards and backwards.

4. Pretend You’re Animals- Play a guessing game of what animal Sally is by the sounds she makes and the way she moves. Children love to imitate animals and can imitate various animals from a young age.

5. Tickle Each other when you’ve run out of ideas, then a good old-fashioned tickle fight is the answer. Again, don’t tickle too hard and when someone (possibly you!) yells stop, then the tickler must stop. At our house, this game always ends with a kiss!

These activities take little time play and benefit you and your children greatly. They are highly interactive, involve a lot of laughter and take no preparation. They also let your children know that you enjoy being with them and that they make great playmates.

7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork

In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint and build. These activities can certainly stimulate children, and help them grow.

Very often, these masterpieces that your children create are brought home and proudly displayed. But what do you do when all of the artwork begins to take over your home? Here are 7 great ideas:

1. FIND THE DIAMONDS. Rather than keeping every single piece of artwork your child creates, sit down with your child on a regular basis and ask him to choose the one or two he likes best. By the end of the year, you should have no more than 5 pieces of artwork that your child believes to be his “best” pieces. This will help keep the artwork under control, and will still give you an opportunity to save his creations for future memories.

2. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS. Take photos of the artwork that your child creates and keep these photos in a scrapbook. This way, even if the artwork is discarded for space purposes, you’ll still have the memory!

3. KIDS FILE STORAGE BOX. Office supply stores carry portable file boxes that hold hanging file folders. These generally have a cover and a handle for easy portability. Help your child create her very own filing system. Perhaps one file folder for 2nd grade artwork, one for 3rd grade artwork, and so on. Now, all the drawings, and any type of artwork that lays flat, will be kept safe and organized. You’ll even be teaching your child filing skills! It’s never too early!

4. KEEP IT CONTAINED. For other artwork that does not lay flat, the perfect container may be a large, plastic container with a lid. Your child will have a space for shadowboxes, and other artwork that won’t fit into a file folder. Again, be choosy. If you keep every single piece of artwork your child brings home for the next 15 years, your house is going to be overflowing with it.

5. HANG IT. Get your child his very own artwork bulletin board so he can display his favorite artwork in his bedroom. When organized on a nice cork board, this really adds a nice touch to a child’s room. Plus, your child can very easily switch one piece of art, with another.

6. SUPPLY MANIA. If your child produces a lot of artwork at home, she probably has tons of crayons, markers and other art supplies. Keep it all in a portable box, light enough for your child to be able to transport it from one room into the next. In addition, separate and organize the supplies into separate Zip-lock baggies before putting them in the box. This will keep everything organized and easily accessible.

7. THE PERFECT GIFT. Kids artwork makes the perfect gift for grandma, grandpa, sister Jane, Aunt Sue, Uncle Jim, and so on. Rather than buying gifts for your child to give to family members, encourage them to give their creations away as special gifts to special people.

How to Develop Your Child’s Genius: Improving Concentration and Focus

By Esther Andrews

Being able to focus is a very beneficial skill. Schoolchildren have to be able to take a test, even if their classmates are not keeping quiet. They have to be able to focus on their homework, even if some other kids are playing outside, or a sibling is listening to the radio.

But beyond these practical reasons, a person’s ability to focus and concentrate, affects their level of performance. In order to solve a problem, you have to be able to focus, and if you can’t concentrate, you can’t find s solution. The ability to concentrate is important to anything we want to accomplish. When a person increases their concentration skills, they see a big improvement in everything they do. There is no doubt, then, that anybody can benefit from the strengthening of their ability to concentrate and focus.

Children in general have shorter attention spans than adults. It is impossible to expect a child to sit and concentrate for a long time, because it is natural for children to move around and be active. In my opinion, part of the reason is that children’s minds work extremely fast, and they have the need to learn new material constantly. When they feel that they have learned all they can from one activity, they will move to the next one, looking for more knowledge.

Often you can observe a very young child playing with a toy. The child will be “all into it”, fully focused on the toy. For how long? That varies, depending on many factors. But as long as they are playing, they are fully focused. Watch children when they are listening to a story, they are listening intently, and are all captured by the story.

There are some exercises, or games, that you can play with your child, that will increase his ability to concentrate and focus. You can play the games suggested here, or you can invent your own games around these exercises, depending on your individual child, their age and their interest. Here are some suggestions:

1. Have your child close his eyes, and imagine a triangle. Then have him draw the triangle, with his eyes closed, on a piece of paper, slowly, and accurately. Then have him do it again, and watch if there is any improvement in the triangle he has drawn. The slower he does it, the better. It is practically impossible to perform this task, without concentrating and focusing on it, and the slower the task is performed, the longer the intense focus. If you want, you can have a competition, you can do it with your child, and the one who finished later is the winner, or the one who has a better triangle, wins. You can organize a group of kids to compete with each other. (When your child is drawing perfect triangles, you can advance to more complicated figures, a square, a Star of David, a star… whatever figure you can think of.)

2. This is a very interesting game, that will entertain, surprise and benefit all participants. Have your child hold his arm out. With closed eyes, tell your child to start feeling an intense heat on the palm of his hand, as if he is holding a hot potato. Focus on it for a few minutes, when it starts to feel uncomfortable (too hot), have him stop and shake his hand.

3. Have your child practice reading in different environments. Take him to the library, have him read there, take him to a fast food restaurant, and have him read there. If your child doesn’t read yet – read a story to him. That also takes concentration! (I don’t recommend reading in the car, some people get motion sick when they read in the car.) Any environment that you can think of is a good place to practice concentration. The Russian chess players practice playing in noisy places. They play in the park, coffee houses, wherever they can!

4. When you are visiting the park, or walk on the beach, have your child listen to the sounds of nature and life. The sound of the waves, or the sound of the birds and other animals in the park. Have him practice listening to the sounds intently for the longest time possible, and try to increase from there. If you have a recording of nature sounds, (there are many CD’s that have the sound of water and other sounds of nature) your child can do that at home, listening to a CD. You can play the “quiet game”, yourself and the child (or a group of children) listening to the sounds of nature CD. The last sitting is the winner.

5. The finger game. Have your child hold his hand out, and bend each finger very slowly, focusing only on that finger. When all fingers are bent, start straightening the fingers one at a time, very slowly. You can play this game with a toddler or a baby, too!

6. The breathing game. Have your child breath in very slowly, counting to ten, paying attention only to his breathing. Then have him exhale as slowly as he can.

7. Have a competition, who can gaze at an object the longest. You can put an object at the center of the room, and have your child and yourself, or a group of children, gaze at the object. The person who can stay with this assignment the longest without taking their eyes off the subject is the winner.

If you participate in these games with your child, you will notice an improvement in your ability to concentrate, too! Take some time to do these activities with your child, and observe the results! Please write to me at esther@all-gifted-children.com, to tell me about the results you are observing.

Some people can concentrate on an assignment, to the exclusion of all distractions around them. My husband, who is an avid reader, can sit at a public place and read, no matter how much noise exists around him. Some people can play at a chess tournament, and focus on their game, no matter how many people are standing around them, watching the game. Others, however, cannot concentrate on their reading in a coffee house, because “too much is going on around them”, and some people’s chess game is affected by the noise around them or the people watching the game, and they make mistakes and “blunders”.